This past week I hit a milestone on my climb through life. I turned the big four oh. Yep, the half-way point in my mortal journey woke me up bright and early Thursday morning for a little chat. I, however, was not so thrilled, and would have preferred being able to keep my head under my pillow, eyes closed, feigning sleep. Did it get the point and leave me alone or at least bring an offering of passion tea lemonade? Oh no, it just kept pestering me until I finally rolled over and gave it a hairy eyeball! (I picked one up from Eerie’s swamp on my last visit!)
After meticulously wiping it’s hands on a handkerchief (I know, who really carries those anymore, massive germ catchers!), it set the hairy marble on the nightstand.
“Seriously, Wicked. It’s time to face some facts here. You’ve been slacking this week.”
“Oh for Pete’s sake! Did Snarky send you over?” Scooting up in bed so the headboard can keep me upright. “Look, I haven’t given up on carving out an hour a day for writing, but did you see my week? First I got sucked into another dimension where they actually give you this thing called ‘money’ if you do things for them. Of course, they’re pretty cheap over there–making you do things for 12 to 14 hours while only giving you enough of this ‘money’ thing for 8 hours. Seriously, where is the justice in that?”
“Stop making excuses. You gave your word.” Wow! It’s amazing how much pretentious-ness you can get into seven words.
Utilizing the universal hand language for “stop right there!”, I glared back. “I know, thank you very much. However, once I managed to fight my way back out of that black hole, then I was tackled by the furies of the flu. I managed to fight them off just fine, in case you were wondering, but they turned their vicious attention to my youngest.” I paused for a breath. “Once I figured out how to get them off of him and out of my house, I forgot and left the door open.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.” I ducked my head and mumbled. “Look, sometimes when it rains, it pours.”
“Are you done yet?”
“Nope.” Flashing cheeky smile. “I did finally finish bailing out the house, so hopefully I’ll be ready to get back on track this week.”
Why is it giving me such a disbelieving look? I swear, some people just can’t find the bright side of things.
“Sooooo….” I arch an eyebrow. “Besides Snarky’s royal command, what brings you to my neck of the woods?”
A long suffering sigh. “I wanted to make sure that for the next part of your hike up Mortal Mountain, you use a bit more sense than you’ve shown in the past.”
I cover a snort with a delicate cough. “Is this something you tell everyone? Because it doesn’t sound as if you know me very well.”
“Look,” It begins patiently, “you started out on this hike in bare feet and a diaper. Then you figured out how to run and took on off the trail. You didn’t listen to anyone when they kept telling you to take your time, not to be in such a rush.”
“There was so much to do.”
“Don’t interrupt me!” A pause. “Then around your twenties you managed to get some sandals on and do some exploring. What was with those? Birkenstocks?” A shake of the head. “Never-mind. The point is you took a few twists and turns, stumbled over some obstacles, turn a few ankles, and skin some knees, but eventually you made it back out.”
“A little worse for wear, but it was totally worth it.” I muttered.
“Then came your thirties.” It continued on as if I hadn’t said anything worthwhile. “You’ve been a bit more sensible. I see you manage to find some hiking boots and great walking stick for support.”
“So, I think we can call that progress.” This time I make sure I’m loud enough to be heard.
It gave me a considering look. “Yes, definitely progress. However, do you have a map on how you’re going to make it up the next part of the mountain?”
Seriously, a map? Where’s the fun in following directions if you can’t take a few turns to check out the scenery. Did think It would appreciate that. “Kind of.”
“So in other words, you’re going to forge ahead with little preparation.”
“Now, don’t get all righteous on me. Not only are my hiking boots some of the best, but my walking stick, he’s a keeper. Plus I’ve made some connections with some of the wildlife out there and I have my own two personal wood sprites who keep my on track. And let’s not forget the other hikers out there.” I narrowed my eyes at It. “I’ve seen them just ahead of me. Who do you think helped me pick out my boots and got me over where the really great walking sticks are? Plus some of them are still out there trekking barefoot, taking the scenic route and are perfectly happy.”
“See,” I cross my arms triumphantly. “I like my route. I’ll make changes where needed, okay? ‘Sides I can’t go as fast anymore, one too many twisted ankles and skinned knees, y’know? For now, you go on out there and help someone else. Me, my walking stick, two sprites, and assorted wildlife, we’re all enjoying the trip!” I gave it a beatific smile, “Next time, bring a passion tea lemonade!”
It got up with a huff and waltzed out of my room.
“Closed the door behind you, I have to get some writing done!”